Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the day after is always just damage control
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
