I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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