BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
