Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
