So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
