Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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