My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
