please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
