You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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