To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
