She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
