Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
