Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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