So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
