We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
there is glitter all over my balls
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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