you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
