watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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