someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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