quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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