So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize