I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
