An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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