she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
