i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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