Apparently you make a good broom.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
so much tequila, so little girl.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
