He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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