Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
