hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
