i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
