And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
