i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
