I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
