can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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