I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
