Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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