There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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