It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
