If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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