what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
