Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize