Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
