i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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