im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He felt like a one man threesome
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize