guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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