Don't you send me to vm
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
