a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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