Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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