I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I cut my penus on the lid.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
