His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize