I think I am morally bankrupt
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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