I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
