If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
