I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
