Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize