So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
