I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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