Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize