Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
