the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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