Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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