i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
