Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
