There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
