happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
