He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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