Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
