Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
