READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
