when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize