im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
