Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
