I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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