You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize