I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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