I can't breathe out the right side of my face
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
