Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
