idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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