what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
